Binge

There’s something about the old Star Wars Movies (IV, V, VI) that make me fall asleep. Don’t get me wrong. I love them. They are the best space movies ever!  I think they make me fall asleep because they are calming. A “comfort movie.” Like comfort food. You always feel better when you eat some comfort food. I would be in a seriously comfortable place if I was eating “cheesy noodles” while watching Star Wars. I don’t think of Star Wars as movies that make me fall asleep, so ringing in the New Year by watching the trilogy sounded like a perfect idea. After struggling to stay awake through the death star destruction, and missing Luke’s first battle and hand loss and the infamous line, “Luke I am your father!” “NO! NOOOOoooooooo!” (my favorite part). I gave up.

It has been a long time since I’ve really cared about staying up for new years. Maybe that’s because I never have new years resolutions. The only reason for that is because I’d rather resolve to start something on a different day than everybody else. But this year is different, 2011 I mean. I resolved to make new years resolutions.

2011 New Years Resolutions:

1.     Make New Years resolutions.

So maybe I should take in the last few hours of the year. Party it up. Because isn’t that what New Years Eve is all about? Binging before we give it all up?

2012 New Years Resolutions:

1.     Get used to a normal sleep schedule.

2.     Make up a list of New Years resolutions.

I think I’ll binge on sleep and ring in 2012 with some good ol’ Zzzz…..

Stop Staring

Do you ever have the odd feeling that people are staring at you? Today I had this feeling while I was shopping at Cub Foods. I wasn’t dressed any stranger than usual. My hair wasn’t disheveled any more than is to be expected, and there was nothing on my face that shouldn’t have been there; yet, people were giving me weird looks. It could’ve been my imagination, but I saw them divert their eyes when I noticed them. One man in the meat section even said hello to me even though he was in a conversation with some one else. I just wanted to tell them all, “Why are you staring at me? Why can’t a girl buy 3 pounds of hamburger meat, a cucumber, and a couple apples with out all this attention?” The answer is simple, but I had to answer it myself. They were all bored out of their minds because there was hardly anyone in the store. Watching me was their only form of entertainment to keep them from falling asleep on the cash wrap belts.

10 at 10 and 10 years from now

Recently, someone I’ve known all my life, has come face to face with the monster we call cancer. When I was told the news, I was stunned. I’m always stunned when I hear of horrible things that happen to people I know. And it’s always so sudden. I’m just eating a sandwich and then hear some horrible news. Are you going to finish that sandwich? Well, not now. How could I? (Seems like a good diet plan. Just read the news whenever you get hungry. Something in there will be horrible enough to turn your belly.) Sometimes with things like this, I just get the “commercial news.” Like the commercials for news at 10, “Tune in for more on such and such at 10.” Then at 10 they don’t say anymore than they did in the commercial. Then there’s a half hour about the cat who dialed 911, but what about the dying person? No one knows because they were so enthralled with the cat. So watching the news at 10 turns out to be just a waste of time. Time that I could’ve been doing…something.

So I’m just going to be blunt here, as if I haven’t been already. When people think of cancer they think of people dying from it. When people think of dying “early” (as in before the person dies in their sleep from old age), they always want to bring out the whole live life to the fullest, and bucket list, and other such things. So I think of these too, but if I knew I was going to die in say, the next ten years. I don’t know what I would do differently than I’m already doing… (Now I just thought about being 34 and not dying. It’s kinda freaking me out.) Yet, in my day dreams of being 34, I’m a lot taller… but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to go out and get my legs surgically altered so that I’m a few inches taller. I wouldn’t travel around the world, I wouldn’t try to be famous, I wouldn’t try to do spectacular things. I think I would use the opportunity to tell everyone I know about how I know I’m going to heaven and how they could get there too when their time comes. We’ve all been dealt our cards, but only God knows what cards we have. I don’t even know how to play this card game. So now we have to trust God. Trust him that he knows and has planned what is best for us…even if it hurts right now. (Think of a band-aid being pulled off really slow.) It hurts now but it will make us what we need to be. It’s hard to trust when I just want things to happen. Time goes by so slow. So very slow. And then suddenly…

So tell me, what would you do differently if you knew you would die in the next 10 years?

THE END

Bachelor of Fine Arts Exhibition #2 of 2011

It’s an exhibition to be proud to be in. This means that I have finished 4 years of college in art and design, followed by a semester long project that is now in this very exhibition. Though I don’t technically graduate until after I find and finish an internship, I’m done! I have been waiting for this for the last 6 years! It’s here! The end!

The Cocoa Pod is a high scale café that sells specialty chocolate drinks, entrees, and desserts. It’s focus is on chocolate history through artwork, text, and food.

Thursday afternoon was the reception for the exhibit. Cheryl brought me some beautiful yellow flowers, so I felt like a star. My parents drove up to see my project that I have been working on for the last 3 months. They took lots of pictures.

Half of them were of me standing in front of different pieces of my work. I don’t think I’ve ever had that many pictures taken of me in 15 minutes since I had my senior pictures taken.

That kid in the background is hilarious here!

 It was a night to remember.

The other BFA exhibitioners-Congratulations!

Afterwards, my parents took me to Olive Garden where we ate, drank, and were merry! Friday was my presentation about my project. Melissa and Rebecca Rosemeier came to see me speak and see my exhibit after. I was thoroughly encouraged by everyone who supported me these last few days. And to top it off, I got Qdoba at the end of the day. Woop! Woop! For baby burritos! (They are “baby” burritos because they are smooth like a baby and they are the size of a baby.) And now I have food baby...

Road Trip

You know that road trip. The one that characters from books and movies have always had the time and money to take right after they finish college. Well, I will take my road trip with google maps.

Spray Paint

Tonight I'm spraying some paint. It has to be done for a piece in my BFA graphic design exhibit. So I'm biding my time, in between coats, away at the computer lab. Nostalgia creeps its way into my thoughts as I realize this could be the last time I use this particular computer lab. Maybe I will never have another opportunity to use the spray booth before I leave this campus forever... I remember the first time I used the spray booth freshman year. A few of us from a class went in there together. The spray booth is a closed booth that sucks out air when turned on. We had been instructed that you must turn off the spray booth before you open the door. When we were done spraying, the button was not working to turn off the booth. Me, being the silent type, just stood back and let everyone figure it out. Some guy said that we couldn't get out because the air being sucked out of the room would make it so the door wouldn't open (idiot!). Some one else asked if we would suffocate in here (seriously?). A cry or two for help later, I walked over to the door and pushed it open. We tried to laugh it off, but we all went away from that moment feeling pretty foolish. No, I don't think I'll miss the spray booth all that much.

Singing "Ew! ew! gross! gross!"

Caution: This is a scary story. Do not panic.
I opened my door and stepped into my room after a relaxing shower. As I closed my door something caught my eye. I dropped everything on the floor in horror. It was just hanging there, right in the middle of the room. It wasn't even moving. As I sang the song of "ew! ew! gross! gross!" I swiftly moved around it and grabbed a napkin. You can guess what happened next. I killed it. I killed the tiny beast with eight legs that dared to enter my dwelling. Spiders beware.

Halloween and "Halloween"

Tomorrow it will be Halloween once again, and once again we will see crazy people who walk around in costumes all day long. For me, Halloween is a day I ignore everything that has to do with Halloween and secretly wish I were 8, so I could go trick-or-treating. Oh for the days of youth and free candy! Which begs the question, why, in the movie Halloween, don’t the babysitters take the children trick-or-treating? They are already horrible babysitters as it is, and yet they deprive those children of free candy. I think that is the real reason why Michael Meyers killed them off.

One part of Halloween that I like is going to places that have “haunted trails” or some such equally “scary” thing. I didn’t get to go this year, but in the past I have enjoyed the adrenaline rush of my irrational fear. Who doesn’t enjoy being chased by someone wielding a chain saw with the blades removed?

The one thing about Halloween that freaks me out is people with masks. I’m not talking about the little masks that only cover one’s eyes. I’m talking about the rubber full-face masks that hide your whole head. I don’t know why this freaks me out. Even if I know the person who puts on the mask and see them put it on, it freaks me out. So don’t put a mask on when you’re around me or I’ll assume you are Michael Meyers, and stab you in the neck with a knitting needle.

Lucky to Have Each Other

Lucky to Have Each Other - Jennifer Cronin

Talk about a clogged drain! I have an artist of the day link on my google home page. This morning I got caught up looking at several different painters, but the painting I liked the best was this one by Jennifer Cronin. It’s called Lucky to have Each Other. Like most difficult things in life, we are lucky when we have someone to come along side us and help us pull the gunk out of the drain. I’d rather if that someone would just do it for me, because it makes me gag, but then again I don’t have that type of someone. So I must rely on friends. Of course, they wouldn’t actually pull the hair out the shower drain, but to stand with me as we go through life’s trials and to laugh at me when I’m so determined to do something that I say, “I’ll make it work!” I always make it work. Although, sometimes I think I’m alone, but I’m never alone because I have Jesus who does more than just stands by me. He leads me, guides me, and protects me. 

To read more about the artist click here. 

Nike Dunk Heels

I stumbled upon one of the most amazing, emerging fashions in sports wear. Brought to you by Nike, the Nike Dunk Heels.

I'm not really sure who would actually try to play basketball in them, other than myself, but it could open up a whole new basketball league. Women's basketball is great but add these shoes and the talent needed just went up a notche. This shoe is a total slam dunk for Nike! If I could, I would wear these shoes, then I would be about half as tall as the women of the WNBA. See the Shoes Here

I crossed the river and there was Fargo!

The rushing Red River of Fargo, North Dakota

This is Melissa

Here is the rushing waters of the red river in Fargo. Isn't it magnificent? This past Saturday a friend of mine drove all the way to Fargo to visit me (and another person). Fargo was very nostalgic for her. After letting her reminisce while driving through the NDSU campus, we decided to visit the red river in order to take a picture of the famous statue of liberty by the bridge. I took some lovely pictures of the rushing waters, and almost had my entire foot devoured in a muddy hole - it looked like a rock. I had to wash off my foot in the river which was unpleasant because all I could think of was how unsanitary the river must be.

It was a fun filled day with eating and shopping and walking and driving and checking out some parts of MSUM's campus. I told Melissa that the library is scary. It really is. She didn't believe me so I had to show her. Apparently I'm not convincing and I didn't convince her. Maybe next time I'll have to make her go in by herself to the fourth floor when it is dark and find a book. Then she will see.

I think that libraries are scary. I don't like all those stacks of books and long corridors between the stacks of books, and hearing people moving around but you can't see them for the STACKS OF BOOKS!

This is the Statue of Liberty

Later we had dinner at Juano's with Melissa's friend Jen. It was extra delicious for being Mexican food. I have nothing against Mexican food. It's just that everything on the menu is exactly the same thing just with a different name: tortilla, meat, cheese, sauce, beans, rice.

this is Melissa with a flower in her hair

Afterwards, we went to a roller derby bout. I thought it would be a good bout since I had seen the Northern Pains last year and they had won, but it was the opposite. The Sioux Falls Roller Dolls wiped the floor with them. The Northern Pains played absolutely horrible and was lucky to have gotten their score above 20. The Sioux Falls Roller Dolls had more than 140 points. I would have enjoyed it better if there had at least been a bloody nose or a good injury.

I think I would really have a blast playing roller derby, but I don't think I'd ever be comfortable enough to wear that short of shorts. My roller derby name would probably be Kaides Fire.

I love this song.

Thoughts from the Toilet

I believe that some of the greatest ideas in history were thought up while on the toilet. Such as toilet paper and probably Benjamin Franklin’s idea for the light bulb; although, his idea for the whole kite fiasco, probably thought up during the middle of the night while he was still half asleep, why he went through with it is a whole other story. Maybe I don’t come up with historic ideas on the small toilet in the communal bathroom of my dormitory, yet thoughts occur. The thought was actually from the Bible more or less, “dead to self, alive in Christ.” 

The thought would be totally random if not for what I had been going through the last few days. I let myself get into a situation where I let myself get into a situation that was fun and essentially not sinful. The sin part came later when I let myself desire something/someone that I knew was not what God wanted/wants for me. It took a couple days of talking myself into thinking it wasn’t sinning and running that into a dead end. Also, making up fake scenarios of how this or that could work, only to end up with the shit hitting the fan in my scenarios. I’m glad God only gives us what we can handle; otherwise my “shit hitting fan scenarios” could have made a stinky mess. 

 

I even randomly saw posts on facebook that related to my sinful desires such as:

“’It’s my own inflated sense of self-importance, the elevation of my work, of my agenda, that keeps me from prayer-communion.’ I turn to face him.
‘That’s called idol worship. I don’t pray enough because I’m practicing idol worship.’”

 –Gwendolyn Post (I change the names to protect the innocent).

 

For some reason I wasn’t at the point to think of myself as an idol at the time, yet it got stuck in my head. There were other posts that referenced Bible verses that made me think about different aspects that will just confused you if you look at it from this side (women’s thoughts are like spaghetti), so I’ll refrain from posting them here. And then I heard Avril Lavigne’s song “What the Hell,” and was singing along and then I thought, I can’t say “What the hell” to God!

 

Just several days ago I remember writing in my journal about how great it is that because of my faith in Christ I have eternal life…so why would I now want to deny God and live for temporary happiness that ends in death?

 

Somewhere along the lines I started putting away my sinful desires, and that’s when I sat on the toilet. “Dead to self, alive in Christ.” The phrase is not straight out of the Good book but it sums up a lot. Jesus spoke about this recorded in Matthew, 

“’If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?’” (Matthew 16:24-26)

 

Also, Paul had some things in Romans to say about this, 

“For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:20-23).

 

This whole time I didn’t want to have the desires that I had, but instead of going to scripture to remind myself of reality, I let my desires consume. At the end of the day I realize I don’t need the things that people are striving for in this life. All I need is Jesus (dead to self, alive in Christ). Glorifying God with my life is my greatest goal.

 

Apparently I’m not the only one thinking on the toilet seat because someone else left an interesting facebook post today:

“nothin better than heated toilet seats score” –Gracie Lou Freybush (still protecting the innocent).

 

Macbook air is like a computer version of a swiss army knife!

Absolutely Ape!

Don't you wish you could be this happy with every morning?

Fresh or Different

Usually a new blog is made in order for the writer to start fresh; but for me, it's a way to move on. Fresh is a term I use when I'm shopping for produce not blog space. And it's definitely time to move on. So here i am, in a new dorm room, awaiting my first day of class, and hoping that I'll get out the door soon enough in the morning to prevent getting a parking ticket.
Exactly five years ago, I was eagerly awaiting my very first college class. Now, I'm eagerly awaiting to be finished with college, yet fearful for real life on my own. I truly never thought it would be like this...